Welcome ladies and gentleman to the main event of the week! In the category of Culinary Boxing here at Chef’s Mandala, we have weighing in at 8 oz from the slaughterhouses all over the world, please welcome Blood Soup! His opponent, weighing in at exactly 9.2 oz from Italy, please welcome Broccoli!
LET’S GET READY TO RRRRR…….HAVE A SPIRITED DEBATE ON FOOD!!!
In the Red Corner – BROCCOLI
This Italian form of cabbage was domesticated by the Romans in ancient times. But while their Empire fell, the reign of terror known as “Broccoli” would endure until today. Called the “most hated vegetable in North America”, this food’s reputation is due in part to having an extremely bitter taste, depending on your genetic make-up. That’s right, broccoli discriminates based on a person’s biological “purity”! How much more evil can one get??!!
In the Blue Corner – BLOOD SOUP
Wherever you go, mankind’s bloodthirsty ways cannot be quenched. From Asia to Europe and beyond, pigs, goats, chickens and more wake up screaming in terror when blood soup is mentioned. You might’ve thought the English were tough for mixing a bit of blood into their sausage. Blood soup is a whole bowl of it, supposedly excellent for hangovers and offering other health benefits. True connoisseurs know that vampires have it all wrong, raw blood doesn’t taste very good. But when cooked as an ingredient, it has a mineral flavor and binding effect that works well with other foods. Healthier then chicken stock, who can say but it is certainly more frightening!
- The Play-By-Play
Not since the classic 1999 fight featuring Stewie Griffin has a contender threatened to topple broccoli’s status as champion. But instead of “a few sprinkles of genius with a chance of doom”, blood soup takes this demented, green cabbage on at its’ own game – terrifying children throughout the world.
AND THE WINNER IS….
Broccoli. This match was surprisingly not even close ladies and gentleman. As cruciferous vegetables go, broccoli doesn’t even know the meaning of the word “mercy”. Little known fact, raw broccoli can actually be worse for your teeth then soda and lead to hypothyroidism for people who are already susceptible. To read more about this click here!