As we talk, it hits me that I’ve flown all the way to Milan to learn esoteric trivia about the Garden State. We briefly discuss the finer points of having Jägermeister on tap versus in a bottle. Their logo is that of a stag. The myth is that on tap you can feel the beating of the beast’s heart with every shot. I talk about the unfortunate time I was doing shots with Germans in the south of France. They wanted to drink something popular in my hometown. I stupidly turned to the bartender and said “Do you know how to make Screaming Nazi’s?” (1/2 Jägermeister, 1/2 Rumple Minz).We then move on to our state treasure, Taylor ham. John Taylor created a recipe that is to ham what Velveeta is to cheese. While the name stuck, even the U.S. government in 1906 couldn’t countenance it being called “ham.” Not letting women have the right to vote was totally fine. But letting John Taylor call this ham? Unacceptable! Nowadays Taylor ham is called “pork roll” by those in the know. It is thinly sliced pig’s knuckle, usually grilled and served in an egg and cheese sandwich.
One of our Italian dinner companions, Aldo Maccari, talks about baking your own bread on the shores of Lake Garda (near George Clooney’s place). The dinner quickly wraps up. Exhausted, I call it a night.
TUTTO EXHIBITION – DAY 2
This morning (in a rare treat) the snow-covered Alps are visible. They are stunning. Milan lies right at their foothills.
I start off in Hall 12 at the the Global Food Innovation Summit. It’s in a rooftop Pavilion that isn’t easy to find. As I get closer, both the age and formality of dress around me plummet.
The purpose here is to showcase the future of food technology. The first booth I see has hydroponic farming in white cardboard boxes under UV lights (like you’d see in any retail store). A sign says “Download the Sun”.
Another booth showcases a new type of printing. It allows you to stencil giant ads in edible ink on loaves of bread. Now all you can do to protect yourself is mix up the sequence of slices.
Italy has more untapped potential than any other southern European country to sell to mainstream Americans
But printing on food is not the same thing as food printing. 3D Food Printing involves squirting cooked, pre-mixed ingredients layer by layer. Finished products are built millimeter by millimeter from the bottom to the top. The machines look like normal printers. But instead of spraying ink onto a moving sheet of paper, 3 Dimensional printing rises up from any flat surface. One company 3D printed a chocolate bust of President Obama. Unfortunately, despite the President’s African-American heritage and the obvious choices of milk or dark chocolate, this booth used white. It gives the man a very albino look. African persecution of the pigmentally uninclined (who are murdered for their body parts) makes this quadriplegic chocolate bust seem inappropriate.
I walk by the plastic frame of a geodesic dome. The curved wall of triangles has been covered in saran wrap. Yellow shipping pallets act as tables. Various desert plants and white couches decorate the interior. There is a cool college dorm kind of vibe. Though in the real world all the plants would be dead, and a chimney would pipe out the pot smoke.
Next door is an Illy coffee stand. The white booth design is stark with a simple red logo. And the java is free! I mention to the blonde lady filling my cup that Lavazza is also here. But they’re not giving out free coffee. She replies in English “Yeah, they suck!”
Ads at the Summit are about “new” and “next” senses. Even the design of the Innovation Pavilion is different. Instead of a grid pattern, the aisles are laid out like a wheel with curved spokes. Each Fibonacci row is a blue carpeted collection of booths. A few older people man the displays like relics washed up on an alien shore. We are strangers in a strange land. (source Exodus 2:22 Bible)
Despite the clinical prowess necessary to be here, the Summit radiates hope. One booth features a quote from the Dalai Lama “In order to carry a positive action we must develop a positive vision.” Another booth has rows of benches that are bales of hay, each with 2 patchwork pillows on top. Pieces of straw are scattered about. Students who escaped puberty just a few minutes ago sit in deep thought. Laptops, cardboard seats, and giant pieces of paper abound. Various signs look like a G rated version of Blade Runner. I feel old.
One ad that I walk by has a large picture of a butcher. His apron is splattered with garish blood. In one hand, decapitated carrot heads drip juice. He is a vegetarian butcher. Next to him are several algae factories and a few Blue Apron knock-offs. Another booth has a food printer that builds candy from scratch.
I walk up to the Flatev display but no one is there. Turns out that last night Carlos and his wife were robbed by thieves on a motorcycle.